


after;

by champagne_cake



Category: Kuroshitsuji : The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World - Iwasaki/Mori/Mari
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda Hopeful Ending, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, please read at your discretion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/champagne_cake/pseuds/champagne_cake
Summary: Eric comforts Alan through some bad thoughts.
Relationships: Alan Humphries/Eric Slingby
Kudos: 10





	after;

**Author's Note:**

> TW: This fic deals with suicidal ideations, but no implied execution. Please stay safe, and read at your own discretion. Link with resources in the end notes.

“Eric,” quiet and ghastly was his whisper, a mere flutter against the crackle of the fireplace.

“Mn.” Thoughts came heavy, and words fell short. In the moment, all that mattered was that he was here. That both of them were there. There were times where Eric could talk up a storm, doing whatever he could to uplift his lover. But there were also times where actions spoke louder than words.

“What do _you_ think happens — ‘after?’”

The thought hits him like a harpoon. Alan had always battled depression on the inside, but he was sweet, empathetic, nurturing, generous…someone Eric was never satisfied _just saying_ he was in love with. They both trusted one another with their secrets, things no one could see just from looking on the surface. Eric’s was that he sometimes over-compensated, because he feared loss and loneliness. Alan’s was that he sometimes pondered the effects of leaving one's life, soul, identity behind.

Beyond dreams and ideations that ate away at his everyday existence, Alan never had true intentions of succeeding in any destructive behavior — his therapist made good sure of that, and so did Eric. He respected Alan’s boundaries, but he did what he could. Eric came home that day to find Alan curled up on the sofa — buried under a grandiose pile of blankets watching trashy reality TV. Alan never watched reality TV by himself, and two modest-sized blankets was the most he would ever use under normal circumstances. A comfort cave and a mindless distraction. That was all Eric needed to know.

“Hey,” Eric was quiet; sensitive in his motions as he hung up his jacket, and moved to get his partner’s attention at the side of the couch. “I’m home, love. You doing alright?”

Alan was silent, mind spread elsewhere, yet existing nowhere but here. A pale hand slowly crawled out from beneath the covers and beckoned to him. “Come here, babe,” Alan managed.

Eric crawled steadily onto the soft cushions, making sure to disturb Alan and his blanket pile as little as possible, before gently burrowing into the cocoon, and taking him close in his arms.

Bodies were warm and feelings were exchanged without any words. Alan’s heart raced as Eric embraced him, breath intensifying, and thin arms wrapping around his waist. _I missed you. I missed you. I missed you._

 _I love you. I love you. I love you._ Eric dotted soft kisses all across the top of Alan’s head.

“Bad thoughts?”

Alan didn't respond immediately, focusing on steadying his breath once again. They remained still, until he finally spoke.

"Eric. What do _you_ think happens — ‘after?’”

Eric knew what Alan meant, and he didn’t want to answer. He wanted Alan to feel heard and acknowledged, but there were ideas he refused to entertain.

“I don’t know,” Eric responded honestly. “But I do know one thing. Two actually.”

“What’s that, babe?”

“That I love you,” Eric spoke, kissing him once more, nuzzling the side of Alan’s face.

“And when people come to me for tattoos, sometimes they ask for a semicolon. And what that means to them is — it represents a sentence they could’ve ended, but chose not to. A semicolon’s for a sentence that could’ve stopped short, but realized there was still more it had to say. That its message to the world wasn’t yet complete. But you knew that, didn’t you?”

“Of course I knew,” Alan offered a gentle smile. “ _I_ had a Tumblr in mid-2013 too, you know. And I love you too.” His hand rose to comb through Eric’s bleached hair.

“Eh, probably not the type I had,” Eric joked, taking in each moment of their embrace, and hoping to lighten the mood.

“Definitely not _that_ kind,” Alan wheezed, the ghost of a chuckle rising from his chest, as he burrowed closer to his lover.

“You wanna watch a movie?”

“What kind?”

“Anything better than this crap.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here are some [resources](https://save.org/find-help/international-resources/) if you're not doing alright. Please stay safe, and remember someone loves you.


End file.
